Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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