I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
