I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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