last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize