:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
