I can't watch pbs sober anymore
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
