life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She's the barista slut.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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