half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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