they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
if only i could text you this smell
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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