How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
