I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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