I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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