Already got asked if we're dating
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
