new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize