You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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