low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
