He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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