Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
