We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
