last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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