Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
