you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
