You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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