Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You left your phone here
Wait...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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