Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
