I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
