But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
