I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
