you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
