Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i've created a new STD.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
