Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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