dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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