Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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