He is an equal opportunity slut.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
