break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
