I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
