You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
