we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
