Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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