Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
