I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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