Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
