we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
