is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
