Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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