i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Randomize
