No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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