I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
