i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
