Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
