I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
