carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
