I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize