Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he puts the penis in happiness.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
