I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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