I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize