i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
