Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
