I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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