Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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